Field of Kink

Have you ever yearned to step outside of your cautiously tailored life and into a world of exhilaration and mystery? Yeah, me too! See, you’re not alone. I suspect that many of us feel that way at times but don’t know how to test the waters. Stepping into unknown territory can be a scary thing especially when the distinction between wrong and right is blurred.

“Out beyond ideas of wrong-doing and right-doing, there is a field. I will meet you there.” Jalal ad-Din Rumi quotes (Persian Poet and Mystic, 1207-1273)

This is one of my favourite quotes. To each person this quote translates to something uniquely different. To me it promises that beyond judgment there is a safe place where we can be true to ourselves, free of ridicule, free to explore life without restrictions. Although this ‘mystical field’ sounds too good to be true, I believe that I’ve found a little piece of it hiding in the naughty world of fetish. People from all corners of society come together for a celebration of the bizarre; a CEO dressed in nothing but ankle socks and penny-loafers mingles with a leather clad bartender; a straight-laced York University student dances with a cute gay guy and his buddies; and a Toronto escort (that being me of course) reaches out to pet Fido who thinks he’s a real live puppy. Where else can all of these very different people from vastly diverse lives come together and feel free to discover the unconventional.

Although the fetish scene might not be everyone’s cup of tea, it’s fun to experience new things every now and again. Take a walk on the wild side, who knows...you might like it ;) And if you don’t, well pat yourself on the back for taking the leap and keep trying new things until you find something that works for you.

To be or not to be...monogamous, that is the question!

Of course, when Hollywood stars or politicians have extramarital affairs, the whole world gasps. But if we peek into human biology, anthropology and sociology, the monogamous human appears to be non-existent.

Fact: Humans are mammals, and if we look to the mammalian world, just 3 to 5% of the about 5,000 species of mammals form lifelong, monogamous bonds.

Some scientists view both social and sexual monogamy in humans as a societal structure rather than a natural state. So if being monogamous is not a natural human state then why does society chastise us for mingling in our neighbours sheets? We have been taught that to stray from our spouse is considered to be ‘bad, bad, bad!’ But most of us have done so at least once in our life, or at least had the urge to do so. Wouldn’t that mean that the majority of humans are ‘bad’? Or maybe it’s only those of us that get caught that are ‘bad’. What a contradiction; societal expectation vs. natural instinct...gee wonder who wins this tug’o’war, duah. Why do we as a society make things so difficult for ourselves? Instinct always triumphs in the end. My philosophy is to just go with the flow and follow your natural instincts because human nature is neither ‘good’ nor ‘bad’, it just is.

Life’s Little Victories vs. Perturbing Pissers

BW’s Top 5 Feel Good Moments

Feel Good no. 1 - Toes a la Fromage
I love the smell of puppy feet, reminds me of cheesy popcorn or Doritos Zesty Taco. Does this make me weird?

Feel Good no. 2 - Elvis the Pelvis
There’s this guy that sits out in Dundas Square on his lunch break and sings love songs passionately into his hand held tape recorder. I always wonder what he does with the tape, hmmm things to ponder. This guy always puts an instant smile on my face.

Feel Good no. 3 - Friendly Customer Service
I’ll go out of my way to spend money in a store or restaurant with friendly staff. I actually frequent a sushi restaurant that has mediocure to tolerable food only because the waiter is really nice. He remembers my name and is always so happy to see me...so I pretend to like the food.

Feel Good no. 4 - Thoughtful Gesture
I absolutely love getting flowers. They don’t cost much but say “hey, I was thinking of you and thought you’d enjoy these”. It’s the little things that count, right?

Feel Good no. 5 - Voice of an Angel
Something about her voice calms my soul and makes my heart smile:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vdgXTGhSSdI

BW’s Top 5 Pet Peeves

Pet Peeve no. 1 - The Fart Bandit
When the person occupying the treadmill next to me at the gym decides that it is in their best interest to let a ‘silent but deadly’ fart out of the bag. What, you didn’t think that I would smell it? I’m like a foot away! Thanks a lot jerk, now the air that previously occupied your butt chamber is now invading my lung chamber. How gross! It’s time to cut my workout short.

Pet Peeve no. 2 - Celine Dion
This video clip will explain it all:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3BCrMxLL0x4&feature=related

Pet Peeve no. 3 – Sleep Interrupted
Reluctantly getting up in the middle of the night to go for a pee only to return to bed to bang my shin on the bed frame. I swear IKEA is out to get us. I’m convinced that they build these things with the sole intent to bruise shins all across the world.

Pet Peeve no. 4 - Rude Little Boys
True story; a boy in high school once left his bubble gum in my ear during a make-out session. Didn’t even bother to tell me that he put it there, I can only assume it was on purpose. Who does that? Bastard! When I found it I was like "what the fcuk is this?" LMAO! Needless to say that was our last date.

Pet Peeve no. 5 - Ordering at Starbucks
Hey dude, I just want a medium double-double...is that too much to ask? Confusing as heck and comically expensive, but yet the line-up is around the corner so I guess someone is digging the trend. I’ll stick to my Timmies thanks.

Feel free to share your 'feel good moments' and 'pet peeves', I'd love to hear them :D

My Thoughts on the Sex Trade and its Misconceptions (Part 3/3)

Misconception No. 3 - Bought and Paid For, Now You’re Mine!

I’ve come across some postings on local review boards where some members become annoyed that sp’s can pick and choose who we see, and adjust our menus accordingly. I guess that their mentality is that since they are paying for a service, the sp should provide that service without question, equally across the board and without variation. In a perfect world where all clients have impeccable hygiene and charming personalities this scenario just might work. But sad to say that we do not live in a perfect world and we must act in our personal best interest. Most sp’s have their own check list of ‘make it or break it’ qualities that they expect from their clients. My top two priorities are; hygiene (really can’t stress this enough) and respect. I cannot provide a good service without these merits and consider it my right to cancel or reject a session if I deem necessary.

I’ve been in the awkward position where I’ve had to turn down client requests for an appointment. I don’t like offending people or making them feel rejected but at the same time I consider that I am doing them a favour by saving them money on something I know just will not work. When my clients leave I want them to feel as if we enjoyed one another’s company, and not feel like I did a decent job at tolerating them for the allotted time. This is not like renting a car, yes we provide a service for money but we are by no means a machine. We have feelings, we have preferences, and we have the right to choose who we provide our services to.

My Thoughts on the Sex Trade and its Misconceptions (Part 2/3)

Misconception No. 2 – This job is ALL about SEX, SEX, SEX!

Surprise, surprise! My average call consists of 40% sex 60% companionship. Sure I get the occasional stud-muffin that wants ‘Porn Star, swing from the chandelier ’ action for the duration of the session but my typical and preferred client can be summed up as a down-to-earth, average Joe that just wants the good ol'fashion GFE experience. And I am more than happy to supply; snuggles, giggles, good conversation and fantastic sex...right up my alley!

As sex providers we perform the role of ‘The Mistress’. Someone you can feel at ease with, confide in without fear of consequence, and share your fantasies and fetishes with openly. We do not nag, judge or ridicule. For that special time that we share together, we strive to be ‘the perfect woman’. Every connection is different depending on the chemistry of the sex provider and client, sometimes the connection feels genuine and other times can be a bit more difficult to develop. It is up to the provider to find a way to bond, whether it is a topic of common interest, or perhaps a relaxing massage. Sex is always better when there has been a foundation laid down. It can make the difference between a mediocre session and a mind blowing experience that you’ll remember forever.

Being an escort is not all just about the sex. It’s about the personal connections and memories that are created, determining what each individual client needs to feel emotionally, mentally, and physically satisfied, and last but not least the...SEX, SEX, SEX!

For all you out there that say that all escorts are good for is sex, then save yourself the time and money and use your hand, because without a personal connection sex is just another orgasm.